“She takes her stand on the top of the high hill, beside the way, where the paths meet. She cries out by the gates, at the entry of the city, at the entrance of the doors” ~ Proverbs 8:2-3
With a mixture of frustration and shame I’ve arrived at the same doorstep. To get here I’ve traveled many long, hard miles of holding myself together, gritting my teeth, all the while knowing where I was headed, but holding my own just the same. Yes, I confess, I want that deeper knowledge of Christ. Yes, I want to feel His presence in and through my life. Yes! I truly do desire to live for Him, in Him, but as I approach that doorway, the doorway of brokenness, still I try to turn away. Why is it then when we recognize breaking is just what we need that we seek to remain unbroken? Our egos, like stubborn lumps in the batter, seek to insulate themselves as long as possible before giving way to become something far better. In this life two worlds live juxtaposed to one another. This world promises to make us whole, but Jesus promises to make us one in Him. At every turn, there is a description of what it should look like. Where we should be. How happy we are! How full and complete our lives could be. We resist brokenness because brokenness means we are not whole. We cannot imagine or envision what God could be up to as He looks over this human mess and grabs His glue, painstakingly pressing pieces together into what seems a chaotic assortment, until finally what emerges in this mosaic is His image, a reflection of His glory. Perhaps we resist this process because we know we don’t have any glue, we know in and of ourselves we cannot put these pieces back together let alone weave a greater story in it. Or, as foolish as it sounds, we are not so sure we want to give up the authorship of our lives.
Like the wildfires raging in the West this year, tragedy, real tragedy burns through our false sense of worth and the empty promises of wholeness; leaving only what truly matters before our bare eyes. When all is burned away, it is Christ who remains and all whom we love in Him. Friend, if you also are in a season of brokenness, plagued by confusion and disillusion, rejoice! Yes, rejoice!! Disillusionment is a wonderful condition to find yourself in when you consider the alternative. Confusion is the precursor to knowledge, to understanding and wisdom. Conflict clarifies. Wisdom is calling out to us! Enter into the doorway of your brokenness, He has prepared a place for you in Him, and through Him you will receive His fullness as promised in Ephesians 3:19 – to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Eph 3:19.